Me: Before you say anything, let me guess. You're gonna ask me about my day and then I'll somehow connect that to my blog topic and then you're going to say some stupid dog-related comment to awkwardly and abruptly end my blog post.
Abby: ...maybe.
Me: Well, I read Wendy Wasserstein's play The Man in a Case, which seems like the start of a dysfunctional marriage.
Abby: Since I probably need to drive forward this blog, I'll ask: why?
Me: The man Byelinkov, while seeming very educated, appears to not like the idea of change. His fiance, Varinka, on the other hand, seems very child-like and free-spirited. Byelinkov views marriage not really as a way to be happy, but rather as a social contract that provides a secure and "satisfying" future. Varinka obliviously believes she is a very lucky woman to be marrying a master of Greek and Latin.
However, Byelinkov does say that Varinka's girlish thinking is an "attractive attribute" so he may at least be somewhat attracted to her.
Abby: It doesn't seem that bad. Why don't you think this relationship will work out?
Me: Because Byelinkov says that he doesn't like change very much. I don't think he will adjust to married life that well. He even gets mad when he finds out his fiance rode a bicycle in public. Varinka seems to enjoy being progressive by symbolically "moving forward" with the bike. Byelinkov, contrarily, falls down and fails when trying to ride forward.
He vows that on one particular day of the year, he will place a lily in Varinka's hair. He even writes down the vow on paper. But when she leaves, Byelinkov tears up the paper and throws it in the garden. However, he does reassemble it and puts it in an envelope. Maybe he will keep his vow. Or maybe he just doesn't want a mess.
Abby: I don't get why you don't think this relationship will be successful.
Me: Well, I've only really been in one relationship that has been going on for like 8 months now, so I'm not really sure what "successful" could mean. I guess that Varinka and Byelinkov's marriage may last for awhile, but I don't think Byelinkov will really be "satisfied." Varinka's character seems too oblivious to care about what Byelinkov thinks of her, so I think she will be happy with the marriage. Ignorance is bliss, I suppose. Maybe she should read Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider's The Rules.
Abby: Wait, what?
Me: Nevermind. That's a whole other rant.
I have the same ideas with you about Varinka and Byelinkov's marriage. They may probably end up in divorce or something heartbroken. Varinka is willing to change while Byelinkov is not. That is the clearest sign for an incompatible marriage. Marriage does not just need love, we have to trust, respect and most important, accept and forvige each other. Never decide to marry someone just because of love. It can be a dead wrong mistake.
ReplyDeleteGuess what Sara, I am thinking that Varinka and Byelinkov can succeed in their marriage. Why? You remember the article, Baba and Daddy gus by Bell Hooks, Baba and Daddy are two extremes of the spectrum, and they were together for more than 70 years, at the time of his dealth. They were strangers and lovers. Therefore, somehow I believe Varinka and Byelinkov can also live together that long.
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